The Difficult Questions of Being A Football Fan: TMHB 2022 NFL Season Preview
Thinking about what Deshaun Watson means to the average fan with a conscience, and a tone-deaf stab at previewing the season after tearing down the league's moral center
It’s easy to make the Cleveland Browns the villain. They are the team that traded for Deshaun Watson despite having over two dozen credible allegations of sexual impropriety due to his behavior with massage therapists. Some of the descriptions of his behavior are quite lurid too. I would advise against going looking for them. You can believe victims without having to read graphic details of their travails. The fact is these details are out there, and a front office looked at them, ignored them, traded assets for the man who perpetrated them, and gave him the largest guaranteed contract in NFL history. The entire process is, in a word, fucked.
But if you think the Browns are the only team stained because of their participation in it, you’re wrong. The Houston Texans were content to ignore the problem at best. There’s actual, credible evidence that the Texans provided Watson with a nigh-endless stream of massage therapists for him to scar mentally until he made the mistake of demanding more money than the team was willing to offer him. Other franchises knew about all these details, and they were not shy in their pursuit of him, as if the need for an elite quarterback outweighs the safety of vulnerable people in a position that puts them directly in harm’s way when their clients are unsupervised sex criminals. The Carolina Panthers, Miami Dolphins, and yes, the Philadelphia Eagles (among others) all wanted badly to trade for Watson.
The NFL offices tried to salvage some of their credibility with sponsors and easily duped idpol-humping liberals by lobbying to have Watson’s original court-mandated six-game suspension turned into something “indefinite,” but at no point did Roger Goodell or his league counsel try to step in when any of this was made public before Judge Sue L. Robinson made her ruling. Shockingly enough, compromise suspension that the league and the players’ union negotiated of 11 games feels even more cynical than the original shorter one, partly because it conveniently lets Watson come back against his former team, setting up what will almost be a nauseating and ready-made “narrative” that the sportscasters covering the game will pump up ignoring the inconvenient reason why he had to miss those first games. The other part is that it doesn’t feel like enough. However, in the case of what may end up being a literal serial rapist, what is enough? Can the National Football League mete out that kind of justice without saying plainly, “we don’t want you in our organization?” The sad reality is that at least the Browns want him.
While I understand and even encourage Browns fans of a certain mind to boycott their team this season or find a new one, there’s no guarantee that the bandwagon to which they’ll hitch themselves isn’t rotted somewhere at the core. Pro sports on the whole have a problem dealing with men who batter, abuse, and prey on vulnerable people. Just look up the names Derrick Rose, Patrick Kane, Jeurys Familia, Aroldis Chapman, Odubel Herrera, Evander Kane, or even Hope Solo. The NFL might be the worst offender with the sheer number of players the league refuses to do a damn thing about outside of a token suspension close to the gravity of when the incident was reported. Only two players were arguably booted from the league after their incidents. One was Ray Rice, who was caught abusing his wife at the tail end of his career. The league was able to claim a moral high ground, but the truth was no team really thought he could produce anymore. The other was Greg Hardy, who was arguably still in his prime when he was axed from the league, but his erratic behavior on the field and his impatience with his suspension coupled with a desire to hit men who’d hit him back instead of just his girlfriend led him to change streams to a career in MMA. If you look up and down NFL rosters, you’ll find people credibly accused of rape, sexual assault, or domestic violence – Ezekiel Elliott, Tyreek Hill, Kareem Hunt, Jameis Winston, Joe Mixon. Those are just players who are active right now who have accusations against them that were poorly followed up on, if at all.
If you get the feeling that sports leagues around the country and even world want to cultivate a certain kind of sociopathic mindset that wants these players at their highest-strung to be geared towards victory, well, you’d be correct. As fate would have it, it does matter if you win or lose in professional sports, because people don’t tune in just to see how they play the game. The entire culture depends on a steady stream of warriors with violent attitudes coming through the pipeline. As it turns out, if your game features men legally crashing into each other on turf or on ice or within an enclosure surrounded by steel cables or a cage, their combative urges won’t be confined to the field of play all the time. In short, as much as one clamors for these leagues to DO SOMETHING, no matter how much they try, they will not be able to. It would upset the natural order of their culture.
There are many sad truths about our criminal justice system. One that especially disheartens me is how shabbily it treats victims of rape and domestic violence. The framework of justice in these sports leagues, after all, mimic that of society at large, which is why the NFL has suspended Josh Gordon nearly seven times as many games as they plan on benching Watson. Gordon’s only crime was liking cannabis too much. It’s the same mentality that allowed Brock Turner an infuriatingly lax punishment for being caught IN THE ACT with an unconscious woman while people sit in jail cells for minuscule possession of controlled substances. Here’s where I post “Prison Song” from System of a Down.
When you look at the statistics though, how little the criminal justice system does for rape victims is depressing in its paucity. Check this infographic:
Yep, one percent of all rapists might face jailtime. Again, I’m not calling for enhancement of the carceral state here. Rather, if we are to have one, I’d like for it to hold actual predators, people who make life unsafe for the most vulnerable among us, accountable for their actions rather than those use chemical means to deal with the pain of everyday life, or who try to vote despite not knowing the arcane laws written by racists to bar them from voting, or who may have taken a loaf of bread from a billion-dollar corporate-owned supermarket or, well, you get the picture.
Being a sports fan means swallowing a load of shit every single day thanks to the utter malfeasance in the orbit of the actual games. How can you watch games in the face not only of the swath of abusers allowed to play, but with everything else *wrong* about them? The truth is you have to hold your nose and realize that maybe you are part of a problem that has no real solution. Sure, it’s easy to say “I’m going to BOYCOTT” sports. You might just end up doing it, and I will never tell anyone that their moral choices are useless if they’re based in a valid morality. That being said, if you peel back the surface on anything, you’ll find rot. The solution, unlike what those with less social awareness might say, isn’t just to sit back and consume because it’s all bad but it makes you feel good. There has to be a component of activism or at least empathy when it comes to the consumption. At the very least, there should be a modicum of selectivity with the immoral vices one chooses, what does the least harm, that sort of thing.
There might come a day when the rot gets too much for me and I stop watching the National Football League. You might think me a terrible person for not jumping off now, and I’m aware this thing I love might be irredeemable. All I know is the problems aren’t necessarily endemic to football itself, at least not all of them. The worst part about getting older and staying conscious about things is realizing all the things you love outside of family and actual people are evil. I have no real good answer to reconcile all of this with a healthy mindset. All I can say is if you can’t trust the powers in charge, trust yourself. Believe it when someone comes to you and says they’ve been raped. Question it when a woman shows up to the party with a black eye and says she got it “falling down the stairs.” And for the love of God, if you celebrated Johnny Depp’s court “victory” over Amber Heard, take a good long look at yourself in the mirror and ask what steps got you to that state of moral turpitude.
Yeah, the above I just wrote is a major bummer, and I’m not sure how I can segue into predictions at this point. Still, even if I hate that I love football, I love it enough to have thoughts on how the 2022 NFL season will go down.
NFC East
1. Philadelphia Eagles
2. Dallas Cowboys
3. New York Giants
4. Washington Commanders
It's make-or-break for Jalen Hurts. The Eagles have surrounded him with arguably the most talented roster the franchise has had since the 2017 Super Bowl year, and the division is ripe for the taking. If Hurts (and defensive coordinator Jonathan Gannon too, frankly) steps up, they win the division at 13-4 and waltz into the playoffs, possibly with homefield advantage. If he plays similar to last year, they maybe win at 9-8 in a typical NFC East rockfight. If he steps back, well, the team has two first round picks in the upcoming draft that they can use to turn into a top selection to get Bryce Young, CJ Stroud, or whatever fast-rising QB pops up the board. The time is right, however. Dallas regressed a bit, although they’ll still have a high-octane offense and an opportunistic defense. The Giants may be better coached, but they still need several more players before Brian Daboll can recreate his Buffalo offense downstate. The Eagles can make sure there’s no repeat NFC East Champion for an 18th consecutive year, and I think they will. They’re just too complete a team not to win, even if it’s on attrition alone.
NFC North
1. Green Bay Packers
2. Detroit Lions
3. Minnesota Vikings
4. Chicago Bears
A lot of people are going to trendily hop on the Lions bandwagon, and for good reason. They’re a well-coached team with a lot of young talent. They’re a quarterback away, which is one HUGE piece to be missing for contention. They’ll be in the wild card chase, which is where a lot of those people hyping them up probably have them, but I think they fall short. Why lead off with the Lions and not the Packers? Because it’s boring to talk about such an overwhelming favorite, especially one that trips over its collective dick every January. The Pack should have no problems in the regular season, especially with the Vikings changing coaches and needing to change quarterbacks and the Bears at the bottom of a total rebuild.
NFC South
1. Tampa Bay Buccaneers
2. Atlanta Falcons
3. Carolina Panthers
4. New Orleans Saints
After Bruce Arians retired, the Bucs felt like a team that should’ve been in more disarray than they are, but after retaining both their stud coordinators and convincing Tom Brady not to retire, they can rule a weakened division for one more year. Even though the other three teams down, I wouldn’t count any of them out. I will continue to pick the Falcons to make the playoffs until morale improves, and that’s because they have some players in there who can go. Even if Marcus Mariota is a stopgap at quarterback, he’ll have a plethora of weapons behind an improving young line with a playmaker in AJ Terrell at cornerback. The Panthers have conflicting mojo of upgrading a potent offense with a decent QB but having a head coach who is quickly flopping his way out of the league. Having the Saints in last place feels like more disrespect than I’m willing to show them. They still have among the best defenses in the league, but their question marks on offense make them a tough sell.
NFC West
1. Los Angeles Rams
2. San Francisco 49ers
3. Arizona Cardinals
4. Seattle Seahawks
The defending champions come back reloaded and ready to go. There’s no reason to believe this cap-circumventing bunch of marauders can’t make another run to the Super Bowl, especially with Aaron Donald staving off retirement for another year and with key departures being replaced without a beat. They’ll benefit from the Seahawks trading Russel Wilson, but the Niners and Cardinals both should be frisky, the former more than the latter. I think this is the year the sheen comes off the Kliff Kingsbury rose, especially since both his top receivers could miss time for non-football reasons. The Niners, however, remain an intriguing team that will go as far as Trey Lance will take them. They put a hell of a team around him though.
AFC East
1. Buffalo Bills
2. Miami Dolphins
3. New York Jets
4. New England Patriots
There’s no reason why the Bills shouldn’t be the best team in the NFL, regular season and playoffs. They return a team with a high-powered offense and the best defense in the league with upgrades at key positions. With Josh Allen showing he’s the real deal, they have to be the odds-on favorite to take the AFC and the league itself. The Dolphins aren’t as far behind as people might think. Tua Tagovailoa has a chip on his shoulder and a shiny new deep threat in Tyreek Hill. The Jets might be friskier than one might expect with solid coaching and strong defensive pieces that will keep them in games. It all depends on if Zach Wilson takes a step forward from an uneven rookie year. It’s hard to count out the Patriots, and I don’t think they’ll be as bad as the reports from training camp portend. However, in a league where you have to move the ball to win, I can’t see a team with that dreadful an offense on paper competing in a division where their defense has to play the Bills and Dolphins four total times.
AFC North
1. Cincinnati Bengals
2. Baltimore Ravens
3. Cleveland Browns
4. Pittsburgh Steelers
The Bengals made it all the way to the Super Bowl without a functioning offensive line based on the lightning-quick reads and strong rapport with his receivers that Joe Burrow possessed. He’ll still have that, but the team went out and got him La’el Collins, Ted Karras, and Alex Cappa up front. The Bengals should have an explosive, nigh unstoppable offense going forward. That’s bad news for the rest of the division, but the AFC North will still provide Cincy some stiff challenges. The Ravens will have to count on Rashod Bateman to step up and help Lamar Jackson out now that they sent Marquise Brown to Arizona. The Browns won’t have their starting quarterback for 11 games, as gross as it is that he won’t be kicked from the league. The Steelers find themselves behind an 8-ball with the worst quarterback situation in the division and having shed two of their top wide receivers. Still, this division is often chaotic enough that last place and first place might only be separated by two games.
AFC South
1. Indianapolis Colts
2. Tennessee Titans
3. Jacksonville Jaguars
4. Houston Texans
If Matt Ryan has anything left in him, the Colts made the best possible upgrade at any position, trading out Carson Wentz’s rotting husk for a smart, proven player at the position. Even if he ends up having a Philip Rivers-like tenure in Indy, it’ll be worth it in a year where the Colts conceivably could get to the number two seed depending on how everything else shakes out. The Titans taking a small and confusing step backwards by trading out some key players without shedding the obvious candidates (Derrick Henry, Kevin Byard, Ryan Tannehill) for a FULL rebuild only elevates the Colts’ chances, but it doesn’t immediately give them the division before week 1. The Jags will be frisky under Doug Pederson, but I still don’t think they have all the pieces they need. Paying Christian Kirk “fuck you” money is also a head-scratcher. Maybe Tony Khan needs to stick to wrestling ops. The Texans might be fun, but they are by far the worst-run franchise in the league. If David Stern were running the NFL, he’d have stepped in already.
AFC West
1. Los Angeles Chargers
2. Kansas City
3. Denver Broncos
4. Las Vegas Raiders
Kansas City lost key players in Tyreek Hill and Tyrann Mathieu, but they arguably replaced them adequately. The combo of JuJu Smith-Schuster and Marquez Valdes-Scantling are a formidable duo even if they may not put the fear of God in defenses, and Justin Reid may be an upgrade over Honey Badger. That being said, the Chargers went all in and got the best possible addition to any team outside of the quarterback position in Khalil Mack. That’s the kind of trade you make when you’re a piece away and want to make a deep run in the playoffs. Don’t count out the Broncos or Raiders either. The AFC West as a division is a death trap logjam with four potent offenses and four opportunistic defenses. When it comes down to it, I have to go on pedigrees and track records. The Chargers and Kansas City at 1-2 feels right. When looking at the other two teams, well, one team added Russel Wilson, only one of the most gifted QBs going today. The other named Josh McDaniels as their head coach. I think that’s the tiebreaker for me.
Playoffs? PLAYOFFS?!?!!
Wild Card Round
Bucs over Falcons
Rams over Cowboys
Eagles over Niners
Broncos over Colts
Ravens over Chargers
Bengals over Kansas City
Divisional Round
Eagles over Packers
Rams over Bucs
Bills over Broncos
Bengals over Ravens
Championship Weekend
Rams over Eagles
Bills over Bengals
Super Bowl LVII
Buffalo Bills 45, Los Angeles Rams 28
I know that picking the Bills to win anything is a fool’s errand, but I have a really good feeling about them this year. They don’t have any apparent weaknesses anywhere. They even went out and got PUNT GAWD in the draft, Matt Araiza from San Diego State. The balance of power has shifted quite abruptly in that the NFC seems like it’s going to have the biggest gap between haves and have-nots while the AFC will be the grinder that the NFC was the last couple of years. Still, the Bills feel like the team to beat. Everyone else is just catching up to them, on paper at least. The NFL is, after all, always good for a few surprises. Just look at the Bengals run to the Super Bowl last year.
NFL MVP: Josh Allen, QB, BUF
NFL Offensive Player of the Year: AJ Brown, WR, PHI
NFL Defensive Player of the Year: *sigh* Micah Parsons, EDGE, DAL
NFL Offensive Rookie of the Year: Drake London, WR, ATL
NFL Defensive Rookie of the Year: Sauce Gardner, CB, NYJ
NFL Coach of the Year: Nick Sirianni, PHI
First Overall Selection in the NFL Draft: Washington Commanders
Fired/Resigned/Retired Coaches: Ron Rivera, Matt Rhule, Kliff Kingsbury, Pete Carroll, Bill Belichick